“Out beyond rightness or wrongness, there is a field. I will meet you there.” - Rumi, 13th century Persian poet While the title of this post makes a nice, short headline, the question could be better stated, “Why do couples’ fights become so heated and painful?” and “Is there...
Marriage education needs a little humor. Seriously folks, considering printing out this list and posting it somewhere you'll see it regularly. Marriage needs reminders. Thou shall practice daily acts of caring and kindness Thou shall not criticize blame or shame your partner Thou shall focus...
Overcoming the Tricky Issues around Asking for Love and Caring Behaviors As many of you know, Debbie Seid and I held a Valentine’s Day weekend workshop entitled, “The Mindful Couple: A Journey to Real Love and Connectedness.” The workshop was great fun and we all did...
"The task is not to seek love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you built against it." Rumi As we approach Valentine's Day I can't help but to think about love. While there are many aspects of love, for the purposes...
Dating services experience a boom in January as singles determine that 2015 will be the year they will finally find the love of their life. With so many out there yearning to be in a committed, loving relationship, I wanted to provide some support and...
In my last post, “Can Men and Women Really Be Just Friends?” I covered the issues that make opposite sex friendships challenging. It explores the perspectives of both partners -- the one involved in the friendship as well as the one outside it. Please read...
In my relationship counseling practice, a number of the couples I work with explain with great distress that their spouses have friends of the opposite sex. Frequently these are friendships that developed before the couple met. Some of them even dated for a short time...
Made of just four little words, the sentence, “I need some space,” can create havoc between partners in a committed relationship. Couples coming to my San Diego marriage counseling offices conflict over this request. The husband (let’s say), will ask," can you believe that she’s...
Relationships don’t run themselves any more than careers do. Those who take their professions seriously look for opportunities to acquire new skills and use those skills to benefit the business, which in turn supports them individually. Every healthy human endeavor needs input and maintenance to...
Perhaps the number one characteristic of a successful conscious relationship is communication. Without communication any relationship slowly deteriorates. At times, it is very difficult to maintain communication with your partner. Most of us were not taught the rudiments of open and honest communication in childhood,...