Conscious Uncoupling

What Is Conscious Uncoupling?

Conscious uncoupling is the act of ending a marriage or relationship in a way that is viewed by both parties as a positive step. This is often done with the resolve to remain friends, co-parent if there are children, and possibly continue to love one other. Usually, conscious uncoupling occurs in partners who mutually agree upon ending their relationship and wish to enter the process in an intentional and thoughtful way that keeps their self-esteem intact.

Instead of becoming enemies, these couples become partners in this journey and even teachers to one another. They are able to pursue a sense of wholeness as they transition to the next stage in their lives.

What Is the Process of Uncoupling?

Uncoupling is detaching from your partner and changing the nature of your relationship. When you and your partner can define yourselves as completely separate and independent from each other without anger or bitterness, uncoupling is complete. Conscious uncoupling can ease a couple’s separation so that the break up becomes an opportunity for personal growth.

Rather than seeing the end of a relationship as a personal failure, we believe there are understandable reasons why partnerships end. Every relationship is a process not our journey’s end. Relationships are vital and dynamic with a lifecycle of their own. It’s common to see a partnership as permanent, unchanging and without end, yet relationships do end. One out of every two marriages concludes with divorce and uncounted numbers of long-term unmarried couples break up.

It’s so easy to fall in love, but falling out of that safe haven can be painful and devastating. Conscious uncoupling takes what could be a traumatic event and, with professional guidance, turns it into a mindful and even healing one. For many, the first step is discernment counseling to determine whether you both want to separate. If you do, we can help you to end your relationship in a way that honors what you once had and to achieve restorative personal growth in the process to becoming happily independent from each other.